The Bechdel Test

How many of our movies pass the Bechdel Test?

So far… 7 out of 54.

Frozen Assets: Shelley Long talks to a woman about artificial insemination, but that woman isn’t named.

Final Mission: No women even talk to each other.

Society: They talk to each other about sex and boyfriends and stuff.

The Quest: There’s only one adult woman in this movie and she spends most of the time being annoyed by her kids.

Running Out of Luck: Maybe in the unsubtitled Portuguese dialogue? But not among any of the named characters.,

Hollow Point: Ding ding ding! Tia Carrere talks to her friend about their careers for about 2 minutes. Then her friend gets murdered. But it counts! Hollow Point is possibly our greatest film and certainly our most feminist thus far.

Splitting Heirs: Barbara Hershey and Catherine Zeta-Jones interact exclusively in terms of mutual cattiness.

Russian Terminator: Comes close, with Eve discussing the terms of her ransom with Carmen Sandiego the terrorist kidnapper, but it’s all in terms of Eve’s boyfriend being kidnapped.

The Gnome-Mobile: We can’t really count a governess telling a preteen girl to go to bed. No, we can’t count that.

Martians Go Home!: Yes. Randy Quaid’s girlfriend works at a radio station with a radio psychiatrist, and they have at least one conversation about work.

Airborne: Nope. They are just love interests.

Traxx: The prostitutes don’t say much. And the only other woman in town is the mayor.

Wizards: There’s barely any dialogue in this film between anybody, let alone women.

Frenchman’s Farm: Jackie’s mother talks to her about… Barry.

The Dead Pit: Yes. Nurse Kygar and Jane “Sarah” Doe talk about why Jane Doe is crazy and how much thorazine she should have. They have a whole sit-down interview.

Warrior of the Lost World: There’s some feisty females among the random Mad Max extras, but we don’t know what they’re saying.

The Howling III: Jerboa’s werenun sisters scold her for, among other things, resisting the advances of the town’s head man Thylo.

The Fantastic (Nineteen Ninety-)Four: Not even close. There’s Sue Storm, there’s the blind sculptress lady who’s cooped up in the sewer, and ?

Mutant Hunt: Not bad, there’s several female characters and none of them are primarily love interests (except the pleasure droid). But they don’t have conversations.

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom: If there was one, it would be between the princess and her mother. And they might not have a scene together.

Catman in Boxer’s Blow: Unfortunately the two women engaged in the baby transaction are unnamed.

The Unholy: There’s Clairetaker, the demon lady, and Millie — all major characters but they don’t meet each other.

Hardware: Nope, the main woman is just in her apartment all the time. And the Asian lady downstairs doesn’t have a name.

Evil Ed: Just mother-daughter again. This is getting ridiculous!

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie: First story: 1 woman. Second story: 0 women (except in flashbacks). Third story: 1 woman. Wraparound framing story: 1 woman.

The Pit: Several women talk about the young protagonist Jamie and how creepy he is. I guess he’s not a man so that counts.

Captain America: The Red Skull’s daughter taunts Captain America’s Valley Girl girlfriend at length during the chase scenes in the castle. I guess that counts.

One Man Force: It’s not called Two Woman Force.

Wing Commander: The two main guys get bossed around a lot by an extremely competent lady, but she’s the only lady.

Exterminators of the Year 3000: There are all-female conversations, but they’re in unsubtitled Italian background dialogue. As far as the characters with  names, not even close.

The Curse of Inferno: Not even close. It might get negative points since the only female character who shows up for more than a minute wears a hilarious amount of makeup for a law enforcement officer.

The Avenging Fist: Belle talks to Aunt Wing but part of it is about Belle’s dad and what he left them when he died.

Santo y Blue Demon vs Drácula y el Hombre Lobo: For a movie with this number of interchangeable blonde aristocratic Mexican woman, you’d think they’d talk to each other at some point about something other than the sexy wolfman. But they do not.

Habitat: There’s a couple minutes of conversation between the rich ladies of the town in the greenhouse restaurant.

Hentai Kamen: Forbidden Super Hero: Not even close. Not even vaguely close.

Surf Ninjas: Kelly Hu might be the only named female.

Get Crazy: Maybe. But when one of the women is nude and being peeped at by pervs in a bubble bath, we say it doesn’t qualify.

Omega Cop: The women in this movie are constantly talking to each other because the Omega Cop constantly abandons them to go chase his hat, and the ONLY THING they talk about is when the Omega Cop is going to come back and whether they should go off and look for the Omega Cop or they should give up on the Omega Cop.

Tuff Turf: None of this movie’s 15 genres is intended for female viewers.

Bullseye!: Bullseye! Sally Kellerman and Roger Moore’s daughter go off on a CIA investigation together.

The Dancing Outlaw: Not in the original documentary and not in the sequel about his cameo on Roseanne either.

Suburban Commando: Just mother-daughter again.

Dudes: Just dudes.

Laser Mission: No lasers, practically no women.

Don’t Be Scared: Probably not. Who knows. Did we really watch this? Does this movie exist?

Big Money Hustlas: There is more dialogue by Johnny from the Jerky Boys admiring his own ass in the mirror than by all female characters put together.

Antboy: One tough girl. Just one.

Megaforce: Literally one woman. Albeit she is both a princess and a mighty military leader.

Trancers: Female scientist, female leader of the ruling council, female time traveling police chief, female Helen Hunt, but their concerns are either about the good guy or the bad guy.

Nothing But Trouble: Unfortunately the woman played by John Candy was struck dumb at birth by a thunderclap.

The Dynamite Brothers: No dynamite sisters.

The Brain: The girls only talk about Jim, the adult women only talk about Dr. Blake.

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